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By Mary Lane Montoya
By Mary Lane Montoya
If there’s one thing that has overshadowed much of my time in South Korea, it’s confronting something I feared the most—unemployment.
I arrived at Camp Humphreys with a job I loved: it was remote-friendly, and my supervisors let me work in a different time zone while traveling back to the States for events and meetings as needed. Through employment, I could express my creativity by designing graphics, writing social media posts and blogs, and collaborating with a fantastic team to produce top-notch events.
For two years, I thrived in that role and felt like I was finally able to feel accomplished—until November 2023, when I was laid off along with 40 others due to the company’s financial troubles. It had nothing to do with my performance; it was simply a cost-cutting measure that would supposedly fix any financial hemorrhaging.
In the aftermath of that fateful Zoom call that I was dumb enough to answer at the gym, I experienced every stage of grief. First came anger directed towards myself for not challenging the layoff, and I desperately searched for someone to blame or beg for a second chance. The job hunting started immediately, wishfully thinking it would help me move on. But each rejection email and unreturned message only increased my self-doubt. Despite knowing I was a strong candidate, the constant silence and canned responses chipped away at my confidence.
Soon after the layoff, I received a small severance, and due to mismanaged tax reporting at my previous company, I couldn’t file for unemployment. With the severance dwindling, I took on low-paying freelance work stateside just to cover major bills, while my spouse shouldered more financial responsibility. “This would only be temporary” I kept telling myself, but as the weeks turned into months, my hope felt thinner than paper.
In the past, I’ve dealt with anxiety and postpartum depression, but never did I think I’d fall so deeply into despair over a job. Some days were so dark I wondered if simply fading away might be easier. Living in another country can magnify feelings of isolation—especially when your primary support system is thousands of miles away. Eventually, I realized that a job can become an enormous part of our identity—often without knowing it. When it’s lost, everything feels unstable, and it’s easy to spiral into self-doubt. Yet, as dark and as painful as that period was, it became a turning point where genuine growth and healing could begin.
My goal was to first prioritize my mental health by reaching out to a counselor and opening up to trusted friends. These honest conversations helped me see that unemployment didn’t equate to a lack of worth. Each day I also tried to find small victories: volunteering for creative projects purely for fun, rediscovering old hobbies, or simply walking around Seoul whenever my family and I had a chance to visit. Each act of self-care reminded me that my value extended beyond my résumé.
Over time, things began to stabilize. More consistent freelance opportunities came, I launched a business from scratch, and I accepted a job on base to reacquaint myself with in-person office work after such a long stint at home. I hadn’t realized how much I missed face-to-face interaction. Relearning those daily rhythms played a huge role in helping me feel “normal” again.
Throughout this journey, I learned several key lessons:
Acknowledge Your Feelings
It’s normal to grieve the loss of a job you loved. Let yourself feel sadness, frustration, or disappointment. Recognizing your emotions is the first step toward processing them.Acknowledge Your Feelings
Seek Support
Seek Support
Whether it’s friends, family, mental health professionals, or online communities, don’t isolate yourself. Talking openly with someone who genuinely listens—without judgment—can be transformative.
Reframe Your Perspective
Reframe Your Perspective
It’s easy to measure your worth by your job performance. Remember that you’re so much more than a title on your business card. Reflect on what brings you joy, where you excel, and what truly motivates you. This mindset shift can open doors to new possibilities.
Take Small Steps Forward
Take Small Steps Forward
Trying to fix everything overnight is overwhelming. Believe me, I tried to justify sleepless nights with some kind of progress. Instead, focus on manageable tasks—like updating your résumé, applying for a few positions a week, or pursuing a passion project. Each step, no matter how small, counts.
Practice Self-Care
Practice Self-Care
Make time for activities that nourish your mind and body—meditation, exercise, journaling, or simply taking breaks to do something you love. Self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity for your well-being.
Ultimately, I found hope. By facing anxieties head-on and allowing myself the time and space to heal, I managed to rebuild my confidence and envision a new direction for my life. This chapter reminded me that setbacks can pave the way for fresh starts, and I’m stronger for having gone through it. If 2024 was the year I struggled, 2025 would be my year to become the hero in a new story, taking on challenges with strength and courage.
If you’re in a similar situation—unsure of what comes next—please know that help is out there, and you’re not alone. Keep sharing your story, lean on the people who care about you, and remember that your worth isn’t tied to a single role or workplace. You have so much to offer, and this difficult moment is just one part of your story.
About the Author
About the Author
Mary Lane Montoya is a dynamic digital marketing expert with a heartfelt commitment to supporting others. Her journey towards making a difference was sparked by personal challenges encountered during an overseas military relocation. Following a tumultuous period marked by the trials of a rough PCS move, unemployment hurdles, and childcare struggles, Mary recognized a common thread among military spouses facing similar obstacles associated with overseas living. Thus, she embarked on a mission to enact positive change, birthing The OCONUS Project to address the unique needs of military families like hers.
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